February 02, 2006

Saving Pamela Anderson

There has been too much Miss Pammy bashing going on, and I'm putting my platform-booted foot down, hard. There are plenty of celebrities who deserve a beat down, but she's not one of them.

Cracks about her age are a given; she turns 39 this summer. In Sex Symbol Years, that's AARP. But cracks that she's looking road hard and put up wet?
Two words: Hepatitis C.
Maybe she hasn't kept up with her cosmetic surgery because she
can't risk going under the knife anymore. Plus, the current state of her face and body is nowhere near as ravaged as some of the Desperate Housewives or Paris Hilton's pals, so folks, just lay off.

In a disposable culture, sex symbols are like used tissue, so why is Miss Pammy deserving of gentle treatment?
Because she's a good gal who gets the joke and has never done any harm.

Good Gal: Dishing dirt is the currency in show business, yet no one has ever had a truly negative thing to say about Pamela's behavior. She's been around for quite some time; if she were a tantrum-throwing, backstabbing hyena, we'd have already heard about it. But we haven't, and no one has any reason to spare us such gory details. This doesn't mean she's Mary Poppins, but it also indicates that she treats everyone around her fairly. It has also been shown that she is a dedicated and genuine mother to her two children. All of the above makes her a very rare breed of Hollywood star and mother.

Gets The Joke: She's never pretended to be anything other than what she's capable of, never had pretensions of being something else. Her failures aren't as steep because she doesn't scale unnecessarily high, and that kind of honest career assessment is oddly refreshing in Hollywood. She is fully in charge of every aspect of her career, the CEO of her image, and you can't laugh at her because she walked you to the punch line.


Caused No Harm: Her animal rights activism generates headlines, but so far, it's documentaries and verbal taunts rather than bomb threats. Her choice in men can be dicey, but that doesn't hurt us, only her.
She hasn't ruined careers, spoken ill of (non-fur wearing) others, or brought about any controversy or negative press due to incorrigible behavior or irresponsible actions. In Hollywood terms, this makes her a saint! She asks for nothing from us (other than don't wear fur), and in return provides laughs and a rack.

As to the Rack Factor: For over 15 years, she has contributed quality material to the Global Spank Bank. That puts her in the Sex Symbol Hall of Fame, along with Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch and a few others I can't think of because I'm a straight gal... For her unwavering service to hormones and fantasies, she deserves our respect. For her singular brand of joie de vivre, she deserves our kindness.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

HOW TRUE,AS A GAY MAN,I CN SEE MS PAM AS THE LADY SHE IS SHE KNOW'S HOW TO MARKET HERSELF.WHAT IS SO DAMN SAD IS PEOPLE WILL PICK ON SOMETHING THAT'S NOT THERE,CAN ANYONE SPELL MCUKRACKER'S THEY MAKE THER LIVING GOING AFTER PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT TO THE THE TOP,THEY HELP PUT THEM THERE SO THEY CAN BITCH AND COMPLANE WHEN THEY GET THERE,SO PAM WE LOVE YA

Katerina said...

What is sad is that, to some people, Pamela Anderson, with or without meaning to, has managed to strike a very, very significant blow to women everywhere, and not to mention world culture. She is a symbol that has only done harm to people. I feel sorry for her, she seems to be trapped by her own image, but I do wish she would act her own age and according to the circumstances she is in sometimes. Meaning a 40 year old mother of two who is also ill. She needs to take herself seriously at some point.

steve scariano said...

Great post, I totally agree. Though she'll never make my personal list of favorite MILFs, she's still way ok in my book.

Anonymous said...

Pamela Anderson is a cartoon, and she herself is the cartoonist. She serves to entertain.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a cartoon and he himself has been the cartoonist. Trouble is, the current edition isn't funny, merely telling of today's political climate.
The difference is, I'm choosing not to whine about how his grotesquely unreal body habitus is "oppressing" me because, as a male, I don't truly and intrinsically believe that the way I look affects every god damned thing in the whole god damned world. All that body image stuff is narcissism taken to pathological extremes that are, very thankfully, beyond my comprehension. I'll leave all that to the divisive overaged college girls, reeking of self-importance, to continue wreaking havoc on The Left by their delightful reflex of undermining the opinions of any and all liberals who don't think their precise exact way, and condemning them wholesale in the process.
Schoolyard bullying with a kneejerk vocabulary is still unevolved auto-obsession, laced with post-modern fascism. I'll take Pamela Anderson, survivor/mom over the paranoid schizophrenic lunatic body image-obsessive dead poster girl Andrea Dworkin any day.
-Happy talk

Anonymous said...

We already knew you liked Dolly, so it's no stretch that Pammy's a fav, too.

There are parallels, no?

-joe

Katerina said...

Thanks for your generalizations anonymous number 1, there are opinions and opinions though. I don't think there is anything extreme in stating Anderson is a symbol that has a harmful effect on certain aspects of society, even if she is just the medium and not the perpetrator- especially if it's done in such a moderate and non- personal manner. And I fail to see the "narcissism" in acknowledging that fact. Contrary to what a lot of people seem to think, a woman stating a strong opinion is not always "whining", and I don't see why people can't stick to opinion stating instead of trying to put others down for not agreeing with them while jumping to all the wrong conclusions at once. That doesn't make your musings seem any more important or correct. So I suggest sticking to saying what you want without whining about what MY opinions might be, or what you may assume them to be. Sincerely yours and all that :)

Anonymous said...

If you'll have another glance, you will hopefully see that the word "narcissism" was in reference to a school of thought, not to one particular student or another of said school. I would not pass judgement on a disembodied E-voice that I will never meet, much less get to truly know and/or understand. Where I will admit failure is in the idea that obsessing about any aspect of one's appearance is *not* "narcissism". It would seem, rather, a dictionary definition of same. A corollary to this might be: if outward appearances are so minor in the total picture - as we have been toldandtoldandtold, why, then, has this been politicized beyond any other single real-world lasting value or attribute? Incidentally, I have no problem whatsoever with women voicing strong opinions. I have had lengthy - but friendly - debates with Muslims on this very topic. For you to generalize about me without knowing me serves no purpose but to give an example of what you decry in others.
Have a nice day!
-Happy talk

Anonymous said...

Hi Toby,

Emmett here.

Was wondering what you thought of Anna Nicole Smith?

I didn,t even recognize her in the morning paper today. It looks like they completely reworked the theme of her face.


Blogger D. Trull has an interesting piece on her massive TrimSpa weight loss of '04 here:
http://www.lardbiscuit.com/anna/loveaffair7.html