February 10, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith Is Not Marilyn Monroe, She's Jayne Mansfield

Other than my next door neighbor just securing a ticket for the Anna Nicole Baby Daddy Sweepstakes, I have nothing new to add to the Dead Anna media saturation.
But I do have a complaint:
The Marilyn Monroe comparisons are just plain wrong, and lazy.

Trying to make a shallow connection between Anna & Marilyn is insulting because it disses Jayne Mansfield. It was the masterminds at Guess evoking Jayne Mansfield that first brought Anna to our attention.
Here's a page of Jayne to explain
why the Anna Guess ads were so compelling.

A few years later, we all began to learn that she was a walking hillbilly disaster who's main gift was following art direction orders well. She went from strength to strength when she earned her John Waters Merit Badge in September 1996 for exploding implants.

By the 21st century, she was the benchmark for quality reality TV.
During our weekend of national mourning, I keep wondering about Anna's former assistant Kim (above), the person who loved Anna the most. I wonder if Kim's friends are laying flowers around her tattoo, in memorial.

Jayne Mansfield got her start as the exaggerated Marilyn Monroe clone, so Anna being made the clone homage was a brilliant move. Trying to draw parallels between Anna & Marilyn is just retarded when the life parallels between Jayne and Anna are so eerily exact. For starters...

Jayne died on June 29, 1967
Anna was born November 28, 1967
Making Jayne's Reincarnation as Anna a genuine metaphysical possibility.
They both died in their 30's, and the agony they felt in their final days was reflected in their hair.
Those are enough "embodiment" highlights to get the dedicated conspirators on the trail, which then might make up for the heinous oversight of Jayne, via Anna.

Anna lived a tragic life, allowing herself to be scuttled and muddled about, and death does not solve that aspect of it, the poor dear. This is probably where the Marilyn comparison comes from, because other than the eyebrows and a brief hairstyle or 2, it's the only thing Marilyn & Anna have in common.

We had Jayne Mansfield Reincarnate, and most were too distracted to fully appreciate the gift, and now they're disrespecting Jayne yet again. Because when Jayne and her Chihuahua died (while Mariska and her siblings survived) in a gruesome car wreck, most every obit got the "poor man's Marilyn Monroe" in by the first paragraph. Even in death, Jayne is forever second-billed.

So it would complete the karmic wheel spin if Anna was forever second-billed to Jayne. But karma's wicked fey, Marilyn is the unwitting scene-stealer for a cliché-ridden media, and not a single gal in this Peroxide Trinity gets to rest in peace.

15 comments:

steve scariano said...

Bingo! Girl, you nailed it perfectly...

Anonymous said...

It's just a good thing it wasn't Paris Hilton because the list of would be/could be dads is nearly endless...and the dna tests alone would bankrupt California and Nevada

Anonymous said...

Anna was like neither; she was her own woman and these silly comparisons could be made between any blonde bombshells, deceased or living. For every superficial 'similarity' there is a huge underlying difference that goes beyond what they looked like or what colour hair they had:


Jayne was educated, Anna was not.
Jayne married for love, Anna did not.
Jayne was a film star and stage actress, Anna was not.
Anna made people sign confidentiality agreements, Jayne did not.
Jayne wanted to live, she didn't want to die, the same can't necessarily be said about Anna.
Jayne's death was an accident, Anna's is unknown.
Jayne died in her early 30s, Anna was in her late 30s.
Jayne spoke well, Anna did not.
Jayne had five children and was an excellent mother, Anna Nicole had two and her parenting skills were questionable.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the person above!

Jayne had an I.Q. of 160, Anna not so much, 10th grade dropout.

They do look simular, as they both had a tough life. Both had addiction issues. Jayne was not as crazy as Anna, that's where Marilyn comes in. Anna and Marilyn were both a little "coo-koo", enough said.

I think Anna looked up to these icons and do others. We should praise all these girls for what they have givin us, good and bad, and stop comparing them.

Michael Crouch said...

It's IMPOSSIBLE for Anna Nicole to be Jayne's reincarnation. Jayne died in June of 1967. Anna was born 5 months later in Nov of 1967. Anna was NOT premature.
ANNA was Marilyn Monroe. Both Marilyn and Anna are 3rd cousins. We reincarnate through our bloodine and ancestry. Tilford Hogan was Marilyn's great- grandfather. Goddess pg. 6-7 and Anna's real name is Vikki Lyn Hogan. You dork. People need to explore the truth about reincarnation. How ignorant the human race is.

Anonymous said...

the literature about reincarnation says that the time difference needs to be at least 9 months, the conception would be only after decease. It is said that only animals reincarnate right after death. Probably the time under this theory would be even much longer, decades away, because of death conditions and the preparation, also the preparation to be a public person, if it's the case, and so on. As someone already pointed, considering reincarnation it would be improbable that, if Jayne Mansfield would be really around, that she would never have the opportunity to have contact with her family, as a relative or close friend.
*Anna Nicole Smith needs now good thoughts and sincere prayers.

Anonymous said...

I hate some of you guys now dissing marilyn monroe. whoever did this was right anna is like jayne except for the deaths of marilyn and anna. marilyn worked hard to get where she was at and she wanted more. both anna and jayne mansfield just flaunted themselves all around! Marilyn even bought playrights and tried to make a serious person outta herself!

Anonymous said...

The person above is clearly uninformed about who Jayne Mansfield was and the facts of her life. BOTH Jayne and Marilyn "flaunted themselves", this is how they reached stardom and established their careers. BOTH Jayne and Marilyn worked hard (or do you think establishing yourself as a star while being a single mother then was easy?) Though both women sought to be taken seriously, Marilyn did work harder than Jayne at bettering her roles. But so what? Jayne enjoyed stardom and Hollywood life for the sake of it, Marilyn didn't. That doesn't mean Jayne didn't work hard, she did and she was juggling a lot more projects than MM at any given time. If you don't like people putting Marilyn down at the sake of praising another woman, why do exactly the same with Jayne Mansfield? It is disrespectful and uncalled for.

Anonymous said...

ok well jayne mansfield may have worked hard but she gave up in the end even before she died. Marilyn monroe did show herself for the sake of her career but she did want to be known for something more.jayne had a home life i do admit and had other things to do but i think she is much more like anna than marilyn

Anonymous said...

What do you mean, "gave up"? Jayne, though battling alcoholism and custody issues in her last months, was speaking positively of her career to reporters and performing enthusiastically at nightclub engagements. Marilyn on the other hand, was said to have been more depressed than usual and was fired from her last role.

Marilyn was more concerned with serious roles than Jayne, but career aspiration is only ONE facet of a person's character. Marilyn shared Anna's childhood turmoil and instability in her relationship with her mother, and also suffered from depression and low self-esteem. On a deeper level, MM was far more alike Anna (though both women were also nothing alike on a larger scale).

Anonymous said...

"Jayne Mansfield got her start as the exaggerated M.M clone".

Jayne Mansfield has a plethora of movies in comparison to Marilyn.

She was even around before Marilyn, hate to break it to you.

Why is researching and accumulating the correct information so hard for a lot of people out there? Get your facts straight before showing your ass.

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh at the comment that Jayne was around before Marilyn. Marilyn was a day player in 1947-48 and Jayne (younger than Marilyn) didn't appear in film until 1955.

Both Marilyn and Jayne were not dumb blondes. Jayne had aspired to be a concert pianist and violinist.The dumb blond was just a gimmick.
During her "This is your life clip" you saw the intelligence as she discussed her degrees in college.
There are comparisons forgotten.
Both Jayne and Anna grew up in Texas. Marilyn and Anna both dropped out of high school due to circumstances, but doesn't make them any less dumb.
THe truth be known is that Anna always seemed doped up by Howard Stern. Meeting that man was her downfall:(

Cambria said...

I'd like to let you know that I am actually the reincarnation of Jayne Mansfield. I realized it after having several strange visions as a teen and having psychics tell me the same info without knowing of my visions. Usually we do not return in life to have the same tragic experiences (that would make reincarnation redundant and some what pointless) If you remember, anna nicole had to pay for her big boobs...and tragically, she did not know her own self worth like I did in my past life...I was a self made woman :) Usually when you're born again you have some what similar looking traits (although not specific to eye color, hair color etc....right down to the body shape, size etc. Have you ever googled "return of the revolutionaries"???? Do it. You'll be shocked to know that their are tons of reincarnated people living much different lives than they had before. It was sad that poor Anna Nicole got taken advantage to the point of death. Hopefully she returns to never let people take advantage of her and lives a happy long life, again:)

Anonymous said...

First of all, the person who said that Anna could NOT have been Jayne, is correct. She was born too close after Jayne's death. To whomever said that Anna was Marilyn reincarnated, was WRONG. Marilyn has reincarnated in Canadian singer Sherrie Lea Laird. Proven. Through years of past life regression therapy, it has been proven. An FBI scan has been done to both Sherrie and Marilyn's faces. Proving both of their bone structures to be one and the same. Find your facts before you argue...NEXT!!

CJ Wright said...

I think it's really stupid for any of you who believe that reincarnation is a real thing... It's all of those medieval median people who are preying on people's grief that keep this going... And for you to say it's been proven... That's just stupid.