June 09, 2005

Michael Jackson Odds

In an update on throwing the Christians to the lions, folks have been betting on how long Michael Jackson will survive in jail, if sent there.

Considering the evidence, I think he'd kill himself rather than go to jail.

Even as wardens prepare - just in case - isolation accomodations for the guy, Jacko isn't mentally equipped to live in a place where pancake makeup, wigs and prosthetic noses are considered special privileges. All of his life, Jackson has had the money and the means to orchestrate his own universe. Take that away from him and he'll take his life.

June 07, 2005

TomKat Creepy

With this latest news item, it’s clear that Tom Cruise is a Psycho Boyfriend. Yes, I know about the signed contracts of their business venture, but Katie was once a real live girl, and what remains of that part of her deserves a tea cup of sympathy.

The Psycho Boyfriend is so prevalent for us girls that it seems like a rite of passage. For a short time, you are ga-ga gone over this man to a scary degree. Then comes a moment when you realize that you’ve completely disappeared in the sawdust of his Barnum & Bailey; the Ringmaster ain’t so hot and you’ve got to get away. You call it off and the psycho drama begins, with the stalking usually lasting longer than the relationship did. You pursue legal channels, you carry weapons and pray for safety until he finds a new victim, thus forgetting about you.

If they were a genuine couple, Katie’s “Uh Oh Psycho” Moment would have been this, as reported in Page Six:

Holmes had to be back at the Regent Beverly Wilshire early the next morning for the "Batman Begins" junket, where she and Cruise "made out in the hallway in front of all the journalists and TV people in between every interview." "We are talking a public display for hours," said our source. "It was over the top, unnecessary and gross."

While Katie is willingly Cruise’s indentured servant, that dead look in her eyes comes from calculating the benefits vs. the fear factor. While each of Tom’s blasts at psychiatry are cries for help (Pat Kingsley was also his therapist), Katie surely feels cheated because she didn’t get the model that Nicole got.

And now everyone knows she has a Psycho Boyfriend, but she can’t run away without endangering her career. The real drama of this situation is in Katie’s ultimate decision: Human or Hollywood.