July 26, 2005

Scott Weiland & Courtney Love

Scott Weiland is one of the finest rock singers we've got and he looks amazing. He’s going to turn 38 this year, and he’s now even thinner than when he was a junkie.

Courtney Love is sober, too. A judge ruled she’s been straight for a year, surely based solely on the evidence of how enormous she is. That’s what happens to most folks after kicking a full-time narcotics habit – food becomes a substitute, and they become huge.

A mystical moment of Rock Chick Pharmacology took place in 1997, as Courtney Love became a Sister of the Moon when she brilliantly interviewed Stevie Nicks, a conversation that always circled back to cocaine. Miss Nicks kicked coke in 1986 and then got so fat that it made her miserable (I saw her on the Street Angel tour in 1994, and she’s correct in noting that it was her saddest, lowest point). Currently, Stevie is sober and fabulous, while Courtney is sober and fat, and if there’s any baton a gal should hand off, it’s that Big As A House one.

But I’m glad Courtney is so obviously clean. She now has a real chance to make better decisions
and stay focused for minutes at a time. Considering how well things are going for Weiland, being heroine-free must be working for him, too. But how does he stay so enviably skinny?

Keith Richards is going to be 62 this year, and he’s still as skinny as Whitney Houston. Now, Keef only stopped shooting smack. He still does everything else, which is probably why he stays so thin (yeah, so’s Jagger, but he’s disciplined and works out). I’m not suggesting Scott is still “using” - just like Courtney, a judge determined he’s smack-free. What I am suggesting is that, between bouts with the Pamela Stairmaster, Courtney could get in on on some of Scott's dieting and lifestyle habits.