December 15, 2005

All I Want For Christmas

Starring in an upcoming movie together, Matt and Owen hit the town last night.
It's exactly this type of thing that has me howling at the moon. In a parallel universe, Matt is my ideal husband, while Owen is runner up. And then the universe conspires to bring them together

If fate has gone through this much trouble just for me, shouldn't I be there with them? Am I letting the Powers That Be down by remaining immobile in the face of this divine intervention?

If I weren't so freaked out by this Hormonal Convergence, I would have been at that party with them last night...

We would have arrived fashionably late, eyes all a-twinkle from fruity Smirnoff drinks during the drive over. Once there, we'd have a few rounds of scotch on the rocks before carousing with guests. Twisting here, rolls of the dice there, often laughing so hard we snort like Chrissie Snow. We'd sneak outside for illicit smokes, come inside to whoopee cushion Maria Shriver, and rank on Johnny Knoxville for gettin' busy with that Jessica Simpson transvestite.

After an hour of this merriment, We 3 leave to satisy our munchies with a round of Moon Pies and Yohoos from the nearby 7-11. After procurring some Schlitz from the QT, we do beer bongs while driving up to the Hollywood sign. Once there, with headlights shining, Matt climbs atop the "D" and bellows into the night: "I'm A Golden Globe God!"

Yes, congratulations to Matt Dillon for that well-earned Best Supporting Actor Golden Globe nomination. Many an actor would have killed for that part in
Crash, especially the pivotal scene which surely earned him the nomination. But it's all Matt's; no one could have done it better. Fingers crossed that he gets the award!